And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
