the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
