Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
