Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
