I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
