great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize