What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
