remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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