i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to calm my uterus...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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