Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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