there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
