I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
