I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
