All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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