You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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