Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
