Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
