And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
