Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
