rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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