Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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