I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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