Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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