I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
