NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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