You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
