So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
