Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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