did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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