Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
