I CAN MOONWALK!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
