It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
