I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
