I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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