I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
