We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
