i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
