Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
