That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
