I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
