I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
