dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
