I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
