my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
