I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize