You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
