My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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