Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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