And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
