big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
